I don't know why I feel this way

I'm acting so strange. She's not my stead why am I crying over her rejection. I just thought she was someone special that I just couldn't bear to lose. I shed a tear when I play sad songs in my head. My friends all tell me to forget about her, she's just another girl. But I emo in the morning and laugh in the afternoon, in the night I see her go online on msn but I don't care. This post is typed as I play "Apologize by one republic". A tear trickles down my face. I wipe it off as I write a poem of my sorow.

Loveless

Every morning I wake,
something missing from my life.
I go to school with a feeling of stress
by the pressure of the test.
I play a song in my head,
it was "Apologize".
A tear trickled down my face
I wiped it from trace.

Why do I feel this way?
I was never yours,
and you were never mine.
Why do I cry
for the love of your bind.
I never enjoyed your embrace.
I never enjoyed your kiss.
I never enjoyed your perfection.
Since a Valentine's day.

In the night, I looked at my com.
I could type to you anything
but I said nothing.
In the bed I was sleeping
Never knew I would be thinking
of you turning away from me.
Unbearable pain.
I just cried out my heart
as I drew out my art.
Blindly sketching through my tears,
everything I didn't have that represent you.
Dear oh my dear, without you
I'm a state of loveless.

Start a new day without love

I try to forget about Isabella but I get reminded of Isabella when my friends start reminding me of her. Then I got fed up and said, " No! I don't love her. She dosen't love me, she loves someone else why should I love her after 2 years! I've given up okay! Just leave me alone!" So I ignored them, emoing in my seat, just tying to listen to the lesson as I played songs in my head that reminded me of her. If I ever met another girl I won't repeat the same mistake.

Anyway, I just realized what "tagged" is. I didn't know what it was last time so I just joined unintentionally cuz of all the invites. It's a website where you find friends or usually an intimate companion. I was curious so I editted my profile to make it look better. I started looking for girls. I checked up on a girl. She's 15, same O level problem, from North Vista Secondary, and... she's pretty lovely. I left her a comment on how her studies were comin along, got her hotmail but I still haven't talked to her yet. I don't know if this is really right. Getting involved with a girl on this kind of website may sound wrong. I dunno. 'm gonna try anyway. I'm not aiming to start a new day without love.

By the way, I kinda stopped the shadow-cry episodes cuz I gotta edit it to sound more... more of a novel not a primary school composition.

Is This a joke?!

What the hell! Haha! We call ourselves 4A, smart group of students who study the most difficult subjects in the school. The school depends on us to give them a good reputation that the students are discipline enough to get goo grades. But when you look into the class through the window, I see students using handphone, eating chips, talking about the teacher behind his or her back. Our attitude towards our studies is really bad, even our form teacher keeps telling us to spend at least 4 hrs of study, but we don't. We're probably the worst batch of 4A. Is this my fault? Well...yeah maybe, but even if I tell them anything, not all of them are cooperative. Some of them take 15s till they stand up to greet the teacher. Hey! Stop playing with your phone! You're a prefect why the hell are you using that now. I suppose I'm supposed to be responsible for everything that happens in the class. Why won't you listen I said put away the handphone.

Even the entire school is corrupt. Especially in the hall, unnecessary noises are made and most students clap loudly when the show's over. They normally talk or sleep when uninterested.

Shadow-Cry: Episode 3 ( A new world )

The world has become something I despise.

I opened my eyes slowly. As my eyes fell upon the city, all I could do was stare at the sight before me. The entire city was bigger than ever, some of its buildings are taller and larger. But the city had something else strange about it. Screams could be heard once in a while, and there is a dark aura about the city that I couldn't help but notice.

" Now I know why you trained me to kill, looks like you gave me a new outfit too." I said. I was wearing a cloak with a hood, a mask that covered my mouth right to my nose, a black outfit that fits my new name perfectly. " I just wanted my new instrument of death to look good." Ned replied. " Its been 15 years since you died. The former president died, and his sucessor ruled over him. He seperated the rich from the poor, building higher houses for rich people to avoid the poor below them, it also reminds them that poverty exsists. The president was just a puppet of the corrupted who fed their needs and doomed others. Soon the entire city was brainwashed with sin and corruption. Everyone takes sin as a lifestyle."

I heard another scream. I know the time has come to rid the world of its dirty deeds. Moving into a shadow I was teleported to the source of the screams. I creeped out of the shadow silently. I saw a girl and a man fighting over a loaf of bread. They were both wearing ragged clothing. " Great! I can have you and this bread." said the man still oblivious to my arrival. The girl screamed for help as the man grabbed hold of the girl and brought her into the back alley. Nothing else has to be said about what will happen next. I pulled a pistol right from my cloak. It was a revolver with eight bullets in it. Jumping in the shadows again I appeared right behind the man. I blew the man's head apart with a shot at point black range. The girl was stunned, she turned and ran.

" I see you have found the power to travel through the shadows, conjure up weapons from your cloak and scare people away." said Ned. " How can I get back to my normal life in a place like this?" I asked. " You don't need a normal life, you have all the power no man could dare use. You can't die, you can regenerate yourself." Ned replied. I jumped onto the roof of the nearby building and looked at the moon. I suddenly thought of my friend, Charlie, and my first love, Diana.

' Diana.' I sighed. " Diana, where are you, do you still love me?" Tears rolled down my eyes, I didn't bother to wipe them. I pulled over my hood and jumped into the shadows.

Shadow-Cry: Episode 2 ( A chance )

To do anything for love is a difficult decision.

" Brad...Brad.... wake up!" I know those voices. Charlie. Diana. As their voices faded away, I knew it was finally over, my life on Earth has finally ended.

Suddenly, a loud voice boomed in my head. " You're alive!" I woke up with a start. I blinked my eyes several times before I sat up. I was fine, i did not feel any pain at all, I felt fine! But that wasn't the only thing that I noticed. I was sitting on what seemed to be a giant plataeu of rock surrounded by magma and fire. It had a hellish atmosphere about it.

The loud voice boomed again. " Brad..." Whoever this is I have a lot of questions to ask him. " Who are you? What's this place? What do you want?" The voice boomed again. " I am the angel of death. Just call me one of your human names, Ned will do. This place is between heaven and hell. Hell is much worse than this. Hell is down through the fire and Heaven is up there."

I was stumped. " So you're the one to decide who goes where right?" " Yes." Ned said. " Then where do I go?"I asked. " Back" Ned replied. " You mean back to Earth? But why?" " Because I like you Brad, you're special and I know it. You have a sad life and I'm not gonna make it worse for you."

A bit confused, I told Ned. " There's got to be a reason behind this pity." " Indeed there is. I want you to punish those who have sinned to face my judgement, they have sinned uncontrollably. Your city is the source of all this evil."

" But my city is a good city, I was a policeman of that city and I know how clean it is from sin."I stated. " Not anymore. It has become a sincity, brimming with crime and injustice."Ned said. " How do I claense it?" I asked.
" I have already prepared everything to get you started on this business." Ned said." You are a policeman, you should know how to handle a weapon. There is a weapon that you humans call a " gun" on the middle of the area."

Suddenly, several, creatures jump out of the fire. They look like tigers, just with longer fangs, and a body of fire. I never saw such a wild creature in my life. I knew they were hostile and that my only way of retaliating was the gun in the middle. I dashed towards the gun. I dodged the monsters swiftly as they pounced. " I couldn't do that before!" I exclaimed. " That's because I have given you powers no man would dare to have." Ned replied.

I finally reached the gun. It was a pistol with a long barrel, a grip that fit my hands suitably, and it had a bright silver colour. I lifted the pistol to point at the monsters. I fired 10 shots, which landed perfectly in their skulls, 10 down, 2 to go I thought. I pressed on the trigger but no bang was heard and no monster dropped. I ran out of ammo. ' Where am I supposed to find more ammo in this place?!'

There was a loud crack as platforms were formed out of the stone floor which floated above me. I instinctively jumped 20 feet up onto the platforms. " Enough with the sidearms. There's a new weapon 50 feet above you." Ned told me. So I jumped higher and higher. There it lay, a long rifle fully equipped with a scope and 3 extra clips. I jumped to a bigger platform above me. There waiting for me were nearly 80 of the monsters, prowling around.

I hid behind a nearby rock. Looked through the scope and fired, one by one the monsters fall, but the rest were approaching quickly. I jumped out of cover to face the monsters, firing madly at them. Dodging their claws, I filled each monster with lead. I was getting tired, it was easier for me to be clawed and bitten. Charred and injured I lay on the floor with the monsters surrounding me. " You can't die. I am giving you a new life and you shall fulfill it, I can't bring you in now. Use your powers!" Ned shouted.

I stressed myself to find a power helpful for this situation. I felt my wounds healing, my body rebuilding itself in a few seconds. I'm able to regenerate myself. I finished off the rest of the beasts.

" You have finished your training for now but you will discover new powers on the way." Ned said. " I will now bring you back to your world. Hide your identity, you can still maintain a normal life, but use your powers only when needed and for the right purpose. In the day you will stay as Brad, by night you will be known as Shadow-Cry." There was a flash of light then everything blacked-out.

Shadow-Cry: Episode 1 ( The Fall )

I had a life back then. Someone to share my love with. I was cheated of it. Despair and anger was all that filled me. I was finally consumed by death.

My name is Brad before I earned the name Shadow-Cry. A simple name for a simple person. I was 18 when I met this special girl. As an orphan I hardly recieved this feeling. She was named Diana. Talking to her, and being friends with her was all that mattered to me. We kept a long-lasting relationship, taking a step to have a boy-girl relationship. She was perfect, a beautiful girl with a good attitude, strange why she would choose me.

I got a job when I was 20, being a policeman is easy-work in this city, but I still got paid for it. Meeting friends on the job wasn't difficult, one of my best friends was Charlie. Now I have 2 of my best friends in the world, I couldn't ask for more. Everyday was great. Until one dark day.

I went to meet her at the cafe we usually met. I thought of proposing to her to be my wife, so I bought a ring. When I came out of the store I saw her. She was kissing another man in the back alley of the shop. I could not bear to watch her any longer, I ran away, back to my house. Locked the door and thrashed my home. Leaving the place in a mess, I lay on my bed, crying, asking for God to speak to me. Nothing was returned.

I stayed at home for a week. my friends were getting worried, they thought I was dead when I did not answer their phone or doorbells. The only person I opened my door to was the pizza boy. Dull he may be but he provided a little comfort. Diana knew the problem, she cried at my door for 3 hours. I was crying inside too, but anger was my face.

I could not take this pain any longer, I climbed on the window sill, looked down, and shivered. A cold wind was blowing, I did not know how it would feel to hit the ground. I knew this was the wrong thing to do. When Charlie finally broke open my door, I was already falling 150 feet above ground. It was a cooling sensation as I lay against the wind. I saw the ground coming towards me fast. I said a prayer just before I hit the ground. The pain spread over me like fire. Though the wind was knocked out of me, I finished my prayer. "A..me..n.."

I Never thought she could break me apart

I think I'm boring her,
I can't face her once,
I won't turn around and say Hi anymore,
she broke me apart,
so this is what happens when its not right.

I won't talk to Her,
I leave her alone, I stay off her blog,
I never look at her,
if this makes her fine then I'll be all right.

I stay away from her,
keep a hold of my heart,
fill myself with nonsense,
telling me I'm not right,
and she's not right.

I say goodbye,
keep a stiff upper lip,
hope for a better day,
another love,
while I nail my heart to my chest.

I never thought she could break me apart.
Now I'm lost, regaining consciousness
And find myself in a new realm of terror
A corrupt world like this dosen't deserve good
Sin is its priority, to cleanse it will be suicide
Such sacrifice made by a man whose heart sold to a love rejected
With the face of anger, revenge in his eyes,
A man arises with questionable acts
Is the execution of the corrupt a sin
Or a warning that this is the price for all the sin
A man has to take a step
to control a city
He is the only hope for destroying the corrupt government.
As night falls upon sin city, Shadow-Cry emerges
shaken with anger, he excecutes revenge over the city.

"My love stolen, spent and wasted.
This world corrupt with sin and injustice.
Excecution of the evil for the revenge of my loss.
To end your misery is my obligation.
Read the moon as the sun fades. The end is near for the sinful ones.
No sword, no bullet can bring me down.
Repent before I take you to hell.
Sure as hell I'll be going to hell.
To bring a companion would that be swell."

Shadow-Cry

Shadow-Cry
Dark secret, acursed anger, hidden within.
A phantom mysterious, ghostly and grim.
A masquerade of emotion flaring from within.
No more will this man feel the same again.
Hidding his face from the eyes of the wicked,
he is a rebel, a loner, a minion of the shadow
This is Shadow-cry.

Well its about time to change my nickname. Black M was used for a little spot of darkness. It will be replaced by a new reign of night, Shadow-Cry. What does that name tell you? Read it in the poem above. He's a character lost in the corrupted world of today, keeping a secret no one should know. He is a rebel, fighting for his people, but he is just doing it for himself. To rid him of the pain that has a hold of him. Sounds like a daredevil if you ask me, I may be able to keep up episodes of him and his struggle. Just stay tuned to this blog for the story of Shadow-Cry.