What A load Of Shit! With Great Power comes Great Responsibility

I participated in the NCC day parade at NCC hq, we all got crazy after returning our flag poles and other equipment, we took a group photo, but the Sir there told us to get lost cuz we were kinda bringing down the NCC name, we didn't get any refreshment, the person in charge of us didn't critique our hard work. I became a student counseler, during the ceremony I wore a nice suit but I forgot to bring my black shoes and yah I was kinda happy. Mostly because my friend didn't want to salute to me but he was made to. Weell that's what happened during the week, now let's talk more deeply about me. I don't know if I told you guys this before but I'll tell ya'll now. In Secondary 2 I was the only Secondary 2 NCC cadet who participated in the parade for my school's "birthday". After that situation my friend suddenly started to call me a Unit Sergant Major cuz they saw something special in me. I stared thinking of the possibilities of having such a high rank, but I was nothing but a strand of hair in the middle of the city. I started participating willingly in NCC events and I made a mistake, showing of my expectations, some of my friends started to despise me. In Secondary 3 there my fellow cadet started to talk to me about my negative points if I recieve that high rank, it seriously wounded my spirit. In secondary 3 I went to the Specialist Course which is to prove that I can get a good rank, but I got a 3rd sergant while others unexpectedly got 2nd sergant which is much better. I started to lose my touch. I tried to persevere but my fellow cadet's words got the better of me, I can't think fast, I have the initiative but not much responsibility, my friends hardly listen to me even if I shout, I let my leadership take over me at the wrong time. I did not raise up my hand when my NCC teacher asked who wanted to take the post of Unit Sergant Major, it was a dissapointment to my teacher because he thought he wasted his time letting me participate in important events and he had great expectations for me. If I had not listened. If I had not thought. If I had not act. The pain grows on me the dissapointment of my friends, my spirit was reduced to a spark in a thunderstorm. I now want to take the initiative, I want to raise up my hand for the post, I want to be interviewed, if I lose all of this I lose my hard work oer the years. CAN'T YOU SEE I'M CRYING!!! It is not too late do not waste your effort, if I do not accomplish this, I will lose my days as a Cadet of the NCC. I am going to stand up take 1 last chance, 1 last comeback at my doubts, 1 last try to finish the fight....